By Jennifer Johnson, B.Ed., M.A.
You’ve heard of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz? So, I took the time to read Don Miguel Ruiz JR.’s book The Five Levels of Attachment as I sat on the shoreline last week and what resulted was a reflection on the role of self-awareness in authenticity and how it impacts us and the world around us.
Ruiz Jr. invites us to take a clear and honest look at how our beliefs shape our identity. At the heart of this journey is what he calls the authentic self – the part of us that is free from ego, conditioning, and unconscious scripts. It is this version of ourselves that holds the greatest power, not through control over the world around us, but through presence. For me, this feels like the perfect antidote to living in a VUCA and/or BANI world, however you want to define it.
At Captains & Poets, we speak of the leader within, the integrated inner identity that emerges when we balance our Captain (who thrives with purpose behind their actions) and our Poet (who connects with the world through creativity, feeling, and sensing). These two archetypes represent the dynamic push and pull that lives within us all. And, when they work in harmony, we tap into a deeper sense of knowing, resilience, and leadership.
Placed side-by-side, the authentic self and the leader within are two concepts with a number of synergies.
- Ruiz Jr. explains that as we move away from the authentic self, our inner voice becomes clouded. Our unconscious beliefs about ourselves, the world, and what is possible, begin to lead us, instead of the other way around. We are at the effect of everything around us. We stop responding and start reacting.
- In Captain & Poet terms, this is when our Captain is no longer at the helm in a positive way; they may become rigid, entitled, clinging to expectations and the preconceived “right way” to go about things; the Poet’s voice is drowned out by the noise of fear, uncertainty, and doubt. These two key aspects of Self step out of partnership and can each go to extremes in times of challenge. The Captain is becomes a tyrant or goes to the other extreme and disengages; the Poet gets caught up in rumination and emotional roller coasters, or becomes numb. In both cases, the leader within goes quiet.
- To be clearer, the leader within is not a role we perform. It is a state we return to again and again. It arises when our inner Captain and Poet are in partnership, when we are both grounded and open, both self-directed and curious.
This mirrors what Ruiz Jr. describes as the authentic self. It looks something like this:
- Being in tune with our underlying beliefs without being ruled by them (I can personally attest to the fact that I do not have the same beliefs as I did when I was 18 years old and had the world all figured out)
- Living in alignment with our values (which undoubtedly evolve with experience)
- Expressing who we are without the need to prove anything (try to think of a time you did that this week; that is the muscle he encourages us to build)
Those bullets alone leave me in continued awe of the value of self-awareness and the journey it takes us on. None of us will ever master the art of being human…but we can try.
Just as I experienced on the shoreline, the power of being led by our inner wisdom shows up as waves that come into our awareness again and again and again. Our job is to listen and honour that inner experience as it shows continually to help guide us – if we are willing to listen.
I hold an intrinsic belief (that Ruiz Jr. encourages me not to be attached to 😉 that things happen for us and not to us and that these times we are in have the potential to help us become (or at least lean into) the next best version of humanity. (That may be my idealistic Poet and my emboldened Captain speaking.)
Ruiz Jr. reminds us that when we operate from the authentic self it transforms how we interact with others. We no longer measure relationships based on agreement or sameness. True connection doesn’t require conformity. It requires presence to the humanity in each of us, wherever we are at, whatever we are going through.
When we live from the leader within, the Captain and Poet take our interpersonal relationships to the next level to build authentic connection.
- We listen to understand, not enforce.
- We hold space for others to be in process, and trust them in that, without needing to change them.
- We make room for diverse voices, starting with the ones inside ourselves.
We have always promoted the premise that connection with others begins with connection with self. It is an ongoing balancing act in today’s complex world. But the more we heighten our awareness of self, the less we are defined by the outside world, the more resilient we are to what is going on in it, and the more we can hold space for others. All key aspects of leadership today.
The Captain and Poet provide us with an inner compass to navigate the ambiguity and complexity we face today.
- The Captain invites us to hold boundaries, to speak clearly, and to show up with integrity.
- The Poet helps us to listen deeply, notice nuance, and stay open to others’ experiences.
- Together, they help us move from reacting to responding, from judgment to connection.
In both frameworks, there’s a quiet (or maybe not so quiet) inner revolution at play. Ruiz Jr. calls us to release our attachments; Captains & Poets invites us to integrate our inner voices. But both reinforce the call to be on the journey of alignment with Self. Both remind us that we are not the roles we play in the different areas of our lives. We are the essence behind our roles; and that bringing more of that into who we are can make all the difference.
This book offers powerful insights for leaders, coaches, or anyone doing inner work. It challenges the reader to question inherited identities, cultural scripts, and limiting beliefs and offers a gentle path back to presence, compassion, and self-leadership.
If this was a summer school course, I’d sign up.
Jennifer Johnson, B.Ed. M.A. is the CEO and Co-Founder of Captains & Poets.