BRIGHT LIGHT WISDOM – The Pyramid of Connection

by BRIGHT LIGHT Brenda Carbery-Tang

Teens these days are feeling disconnected from the world around them. They spend much of their time online passively observing, in snippets and soundbites, a world where people don’t seem to care or take care of each other. Young people show up to the classroom wearing hard outer protective shells and don’t want to show anyone who they really are on the inside. Teaching in this disconnected world of negative messaging has its challenges, however, as educators we also have tremendous opportunity to counter these trends. Creating connection for and with students in schools is like a pyramid. If we only hit one level of the pyramid, we don’t impact the whole.

More than ever, we need to engage all stakeholders in schools. I try to make sure that staff, families, and community feel included and appreciated. For example, the benefits of community activities like family wellness night will feed into the school; staff well-being activities will trickle down to students; intramurals, clubs, teams, and drop-ins strengthen the social fabric in the classroom; and elevating student voice and choice in the classroom augments learning. Add all these connective layers together and the classroom does not have to be as challenging a place as we have become used to.

Too often we try to take on the challenges of the day alone. I maximize my impact by maximizing the impact of others. My superpower is connecting people with people and activities they will love and help them grow. My Poet finds creative entry points and my Captain cheers “Give it a try!” For example, I love making physical education activities more approachable for everyone with fun and engaging themes. It gives students (and teachers!) a chance to explore parts of themselves they might otherwise shy away from. Helping students recognize what they enjoy is an opportunity to identify what works for them, what makes them feel good about themselves, to try something new, and to nurture passions. They begin to recognize that caring about things is a strength and not a deficit. That changes everything and makes school and life richer.

The more we give opportunities to create connection the more we activate student voice. I love seeing children connect with what I am teaching, and then make it their own. For example, connecting art with social justice and taking action helps them to express themselves, share their unique perspective, and learn to stand out from the crowd. This, in turn, yields authentic self-leadership. As a middle-school teacher I love to foster perspective taking in the classroom. Otherwise, we are at risk of living in our own bias and don’t even realize the silo we live in. To listen into other stories and expand our base perspective is more important than ever. Whether we do that through Culturally Responsive and Relevant Pedagogy, or trauma-informed practice, or simply by acknowledging student’s point of view, that fuels learning, connection and engagement.

The antidote to daily classroom struggles is to be present and curious. I recently asked one of my students why he draws birds, and he shared it was because they are delicate and fragile. In that moment, I had insight into how he sees the world and himself in it.  It was a moment of connection. He felt seen. As teachers we need to lift our heads up from the lesson plan and not be afraid to go off script. We will teach them more in those little moments than in the curriculum we are struggling to get through.

When students feel that they matter, they recognize that others matter. More than anything. I want my students to feel that they matter – that who they are and what they contribute, no matter how small, is meaningful. At the end of the day, I only have a year with my students, and I hope that I can give them the experience of inclusion, respect, and empathy so that they can take it forward into their future.

To help students believe that they matter, teachers need to believe that they matter. That starts with acknowledging the unique contribution we each bring. My Captain loves learning new things and trying out new solutions. My Poet loves to be creative and reflect on how things are going using feedback from students. Together, they fire me up! Knowing that I have made a positive difference in the world, that’s what helps me stay motivated on the off days. I keep a library of memorabilia to fuel my resilience. It fuels my Poet and my Captain thanks me for having a sense of purpose on the tough days.

Teachers live in a world that is constantly changing and asking for more. We are pulled in every direction and end up feeling a sense of hopelessness that, no matter how hard we try, what we do has no meaningful impact. I want every teacher to know that can’t be farther from the truth. Sure, there are going to be horrible days. You are going to experience frustration and feel like your lessons fall flat or the behaviour of students may make you lose your train of thought. You don’t have to suffer alone because we all have those kinds of days when our emotions can take over or we want to give in. When students see us genuinely sharing and modelling how to process our emotions and express our thoughts, it opens so many doors for them.

Everything teachers do has an impact. A teacher may never know that the three words they said to that kid who is struggling inside made all the difference. So, we need to remind ourselves we are an integral part of that pyramid of connection. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but a teacher’s words and actions, their smile and creative energy, their empathy when dealing with a problem, makes a difference in students’ lives and helps them to connect to the world around them. Every teacher is a bright light if they choose to see themselves that way.

 

Brenda Carbery-Tang is a Grade 7 French Immersion and Physical Education teacher at Southwood Park Public School in Durham District School Board.  She is passionate about making each and everyone of her students feel like they matter and that their contribution, no matter how big or how small, is meaningful.  

 

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